I am not any good in the kitchen. I can prepare a basic meal but once the recipe reads anything outside the normal tomatoes and onions, I stick to my boil only recipes.
However the other day, I was tasked with preparing meat for the guests and save myself I googled for a simple recipe. I must have missed the ‘beginner’ clause because the apparently simple recipe was not that simple. What the hell is marination?
According to Chef Ali Mandhry on You Tube, marination is key to get the best meat in the kitchen and in the streets.
A quick search on your browser for the meaning of marination will show that it is the process of soaking food in seasoned often acidic liquid before cooking. A little scrolling further down will bring a meaning that might take you away from the stove, to the kitchen counter top, couch, floor but first the wine cellar. Where do you love it most?
According to the online slang dictionary, to marinate is to have a secret sexual activity with a person other than one’s partner.
On my Instagram escapades last week, I came across the term marinate in a non kitchen set up and this piqued my interest. To marinate, as contextually used, meant to soak someone in seasoned often alcoholic drinks to make it easier for them to get laid. Take it as a way to strip off the prude and make it easier to make out. Alcohol has a way of swiping off sense for a second.
This reminded me of an incidence that happened earlier this year when the Nairobi lockdown restrictions were lifted. My friend, Wanja* decided to meet up with her guy after a long time apart. She woke up the next morning, opening her eyes to a strange ceiling and a heavy, sweaty body snoring and drooling on her chest. What the hell happened?
She went out for drinks with her guy and was very specific she couldn’t take much because she had a job interview to attend the next morning. She had finally gotten a response from a her dream job application and she was not willing to jeopardize that.
On the contrary, she woke up with him naked, drooling all over her and threatening to break her ribcage with his weight. A used condom lay shamelessly on the floor, proclaiming it went all the way. At least he remembered to use protection! However, she didn’t remember agreeing to having sex with him. Did he force himself on her last night? She must have been marinated.
Wanja left the apartment, her trust shattered, her dream job gone and her dignity degraded. She had been raped quietly.
Non consensual sexual activity is simply put as rape and rape is simply defined as a non consensual sexual activity, either oral or penetrative. In the recent past, this topic, consent, has been raising brows in the internet, leaving behind a trail of mixed reactions.
Consent should be given in a sober state of mind and an individual has the freedom to change their mind mid way.
The marination concept must have set off a rumbling nerve in my head. I followed up with *Wanja to find out whether she confronted her guy about it and she said, he said that she wanted it. Sexual consent needs to be said out loud, maybe even put down on paper least your conscience haunts you for rape.
For the longest time, I thought rape was violent; the kind where dresses are torn apart, seams broken, blood spilt and a crime scene enacted. How wrong I must have been! Rape has a new face, it’s quiet.
Rape is happening daily in the apartment next door, the hostel room opposite yours, in the matatu on your way home, the washrooms in the club, on hospital beds. Rape is no longer loud and violent. To the offender, it is fun, erotic maybe even a childhood fantasy come true. Someone once told me it is like sexual role play, like the one in Fifty shades of grey, Kate and Grey. However, consent is present in one and absent in the other.
With every stroke, the victim’s canvas turns a shade a darker. Every turn and toss is a plunge deeper into a darkness only they can tell. Every moan sets the tone of a nightmare that will scar their dreams for a lifetime.
Provided they didn’t agree to it, then it’s rape and you are a rapist. We should normalize the conversation on quiet rape and the untold stories that are often swept under. Consent is as basic as taking your clothes off.
Marination is a scam if there is no consent!

Hello my royalty squad
In today’s blog, I can’t emphasise more on the importance of consent.
If it’s not consensual then it’s rape, period!
What do your friends think about this?

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