Too Soon

Oh no Mama! What have you done?I was surrounded, caged, imprisoned but the funny bit of it all was that I did not mind it, not even for a second. I enjoyed my captivity for this was my status quo.

Welcome to my intra life or should I say our intra life. Both of us have been through this but you were lucky to enjoy your stay. Lucky to be allowed to stay.

If you are thinking I am about to share my life I am sorry to disappoint you. My life is quite complicated and it needs several light years in Jupiter and I bet my nobles you are busy men and women with the intent of building our country so I will not send you for bootless errands. I am about to share the story of a star.

This story is quite moving, I am actually struggling to keep the damn key board in position so I beg of you to strap yourself to something really firm just in case you get moved and go missing. My voiceless story.

“I honestly don’t know how I got here but one thing I am sure of is that I don’t mind being here. Don’t get me wrong, I am not under house arrest. I was not some opposition leader who had tried to overthrow the government and was imprisoned with dignity. As far as I know I am a nobody.  Wait a second that is demeaning, who am I? I don’t know. I can’t even tell my own identity. I beg your pardon if you think I am some teenager going through identity crisis after popping a pimple that appeared on the bridge of my nose. Far from it. Up until now, only I know of my existence and I am no planning on making my debut  anytime soon, I choose to be incognito.

Everything in here is dark. Note, not appearing dark, its pitch black. The silence in this place is deafening. The silence is actually noisy in a weird way and if you know me well you know that I am in love with silence. Did I just say that you know me? I am sorry, please forgive me, the excitement is taking a toll in me I meant I know myself well enough to know that I am in love with eerie silence. Ignore what I just said.

Other than the silence, there is nothing much here. I just forgot to mention that I am floating in a fluid, a really clear fluid which is more than more willing to offer the company I am direly looking for. Whoever put me here must have been a real gentleman or lady for that matter for making me an inborn. Wait did I just say inborn? What does that even mean?

In here I have no sense of time for I don’t know what time is. Forgive my ignorance for I have never been elsewhere other than here, so my knowledge is very limited when it comes to such things. Thank you so much for your understanding because I know you have forgiven me. Now that I know I am a forgiven being lemme brag a little about my little haven. The supply of food in here is just amazing, thanks to whoever is responsible. I was gaining weight at a tremendous rate. How I know that you may ask? Let’s just say I can feel it. It’s weird how I can feel gaining weight but I can’t feel that my end is near. Who is to blame anyway?

The interesting bit about this place is that it has neither an entrance nor an exit or I am in too much oblivion to notice them. For the records I am quite an observative person so when I say I am yet to notice them then whoever put me in here did a really good job at hiding them. Being in the same place is taxing and weary especially with nothing interesting to keep you company. Don’t hold me responsible for my high sense of humor, its inborn. I really need to get the meaning of this word inborn.

Exploring is quite tempting  and I have the tendency of falling into temptations and I know you love exploring too, don’t even think of denying it. It’s always advisable to know where your enemy is holding you , you might need the information. You can quote me for that, I’ll be grateful.

But I have a problem. Some rope kinder thing is tying me to the wall so my movements are limited. But wait, this thing is too loose for someone who is caged, actually it’s too loose to serve the purpose of restriction. Is this a good sign? I bet it is. There is definitely no way out of this place, so me moving around is no threat. I mean swimming around.

Right turn – nothing interesting

Left turn – nothing interesting

Downwards – something that looks like a possible exit but it’s locked tightly. I found it. Eureka! I have to mark this place just in case I need a fast way out.

Upwards–  a super firm flexible wall. This person was really keen in keeping me in here and in all honesty my lord you may keep me in here for as long as you wish. I mean who would mind a life with assured meals because definitely not me.

I am sorry I have to cut short our exploration because this wall above me just moved. Is that a good sign? Like you would know the answer but at least I am making effort in giving you company. I know I can be boring at times. Out of instinct, I move away from the wall. My small body cannot accommodate the pressure but my buddy the clear fluid is doing a really good job at protecting my feeble self. Hey buddy I owe you a glass of what did you say was your favorite whiskey? Yeah, I glass that.

They say wonders will never cease and this saying can never be more accurate. The permanently closed exit or so I presumed opened up revealing a glittery object. Did I miss the creaking of the hinges because well I bet some rust had found a home in those hinges and I must say I have the hearing? That aside, what is this glittery shiny object? It must be really shiny if I can tell of it in the thick darkness that had invaded my sight. I heard some voice say that curiosity killed the cat but I wish to rectify that, it killed me too though I am not a cat, my identity crisis do not include some fluffy canine to the best of my knowledge.

Curious me moves my body to the shiny object, maybe it’s my ship out of this small universe that I have created. Would I miss this chance? Never, not even for the sake of my little  nose and small big toe.

It was a just a split of a second and my small legs were floating on their own. A certain sensation called pain overwhelmed my little body. All my nerves were on fire yet I was in a nonflammable environment. What had become my sole company was slowly turning color; to a color that I have come to disgust, the color of blood. I was yet to fathom the first impact when my the sharp object went through my little hands, then my small chest, then my neck, then my head. I was in pieces, the pain too much that I became numb. I was being exiled from my haven. Had I missed the notice on rent?

I always knew my ending was coming but this is not how I envisioned it. I wanted to meet the person who sheltered me, the person who gave me food, the person who supported my existence but it seems they did not want their identity known. I wanted to meet mummy and thank her for hosting me. I was enjoying my haven, more than enjoying. I know you were enjoying it too but our haters weren’t.

I lie in limbo as I watch my pieces being wrapped in a trash bag and thrown into a dustbin. I can’t help but wonder am I that worthless? I miss my haven no lie but sadly my haven does not want me. I may be gone, but I wish someone tells me story, for I am now a Star”

Mummy, every time you look at a twinkling star just remember that’s me smiling from a far.

***

A mother in pain:

“It’s a painful thing! I couldn’t look at any kid. Every time I slice through something using a knife, I feel the pain. Even though it is just onions or a tomatoes. He made me feel stupid for getting pregnant. I was weak and I gave up my children. That will always be my biggest regret. On that fateful day, I wanted to get off that table and run. My body knew it was being robbed.Two days I wish I could relive. I will never have my two children and neither will I ever have any other children. The biological clock has already caught up with me. What I did is unchangeable and unforgettable for deep down I know I am a mother who killed her children. I am KILLER!”

It was the biggest mistake of my life. If I could, I would go back and undo it. To this day, I still don’t forgive myself…

***

The mother is among the many women who live to regret their decisions day in day out. The above words are one which she says with so much pain, so much regret, in tears.

According to the Daily Nation published on Friday September 21st 2018(www.nation.co.ke), 464,690 abortions take place annually. Out of this, 2,600 women die from unsafe abortion. Unsafe abortion kill seven Kenyans daily! This translates to nearly half a million kids being denied the chance to live, to grow.

He’ll make you feel stupid for getting pregnant. He’ll blame you for not being careful enough. The doctors will be more than willing to destroy life, yours included for to them, the money matters most. Your family will reject you, disown you. You most probably will not be ready to raise the child but someone is willing to. Where, you ask. Look for them. Try hard enough. Be desperate to make your child live as much as they are fighting to live in you. The search will be worth the peace of mind. You might lie to us that you are coping alright but you cry yourself to sleep every night. Give them away, to a church, give them up for adoption, just do not kill them.

And to think you can stand and say it is freedom of choice?

This life, it’s in God’s will!

Whitney Albright

I know that my mention of the murder of the unborn offends you but your decision to be complicit in their deaths offends me more. Having an abortion doesn’t make you un-pregnant, it makes you the mother of a dead child which hurts even more.

Just imagine the many such voices that cry out for audience after they are expelled from their little havens; innocent beings who are just exploring their small universe, getting to make new friends. They might never be old enough to cry out for justice but they are bold enough to watch in silence as that quack doctor slashes them with surgical knives, as the toxic overdose terminates their lives before they even begin.

STOP THE KILLING!

#savealife

#stopthekilling

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