Justice consists not in being neutral between right and wrong, but in finding right and upholding it wherever found against wrong. Theodore Roosevelt.Today things in here will be done antithetically, discordantly, incongruously, asymmetrically, antagonistically, unorthodoxly. I met the Queen of England in my dream last night and of course her language diffused by osmosis. In short, things will be done differently.

First I want you to take a deep breath and I mean exactly that, put your phone down and take that deep breath. Believe me you’ll need it. So let’s go breathe in, out, in, out. Now you are good. This place is going to get stuffy so in case you have extra clothing you might consider getting rid of a few. Buckle up and let’s do this!

Question number one:

How far do you remember your childhood? Do you remember that one person who would just attempt to hold the infant you and damn the world would acknowledge you indeed had a powerful set of lungs. Can you? Was it a woman in your mum’s Chama? Or that is a bit too much detail to ask for?

Question number two:

The first day of school, hmmmm? Can you actually imagine your mum had a rough time containing a 3-year-old? How you cried your eyes out, clutching her dress as if it were your only savior from this civilization being forced down your throat. Do you remember the first week of school? Probably not.

Question number three:

What of that day when she looked at you and just walked away. After months of rehearsing in front of the mirror, finally finding the rare confidence pill, gathering courage even from your neighborhood to say hi to she who makes you knees jelly, words decided to be scarce. A gaping mouth is all the mouth rudely had to offer. The embarrassment is an understatement. This, I bet, you remember.

Before we get to question number four, just in case you are wondering if you are lost, be still because you are the right place, the compass is still pointing North. Yours truly is gathering evidence for a case to be presented in front of a jury of judges. Do not panic, you are under the witness protection cover and whatever information you give is safe with me. Ooh did I forget to mention that you as well are part of the jury? Did i? Kindly forgive my memory. Yes you, distinguished lady, gentleman will be part of the jury. You get to decide fate. Disclaimer, be careful fate might decide you.

Now that the confusion is cleared, I pray to proceed. It’s getting hot in here; I need to get a glass of water. As I get one, do you remember that 20 mark essay question in your last test that you almost left unanswered? Not really because you never knew the answer but because your brain was clouded. The whole diagram was there, even the bonus point  the lecturer insisted on was there but blurred. I bet you get the feeling. Once you submit your paper, everything clears. Is that even allowed? Maybe I am the only one who gets the feeling. I bet its the second most painful experience after a heart ache.

I’ll be back; I need to swallow this painful lump that is forming in my throat. Dear brain how can you desert me when I need you the most? We shall revisit!

In the mean time I have some entertainment for you

Head, shoulder, knees and toes,

 Knees and toes, knees and toes

Head, shoulder, knees and toes,

Knees and toes, knees and toes

Eyes, ears, nose and mouth

I am so sure you never read this, you sang it! The brain remembered this, but not a 20 mark essay. I must say I am flabbergasted by its ability.

I am back and I brought a glass of water for you as well. My friend, things are going to get steaming hot. And I mean really hot, like 373 K (remember the conversions) hot. I hope by now you have no sweater on. Once you are in this, there is no backing off. Quitting is only for losers, just saying.

ALL ARISE!!!

My lords and ladies of this honorable jury, it is with great humility that I stand in front of you today in this court room to present this case. This is a case that has been requested to be treated with utmost urgency. It is a matter of great concern to the human race, a threat to our very intelligence and existence. Forgetfulness is to human nature but to what extent is it legal?

In front of you, your honor is the first accused. Mr. Hippocampus (Mr. Hippie). Mr. Hippie is a young citizen of the brain republic and works as the head content manager in the limbic system. His duties, amongst others, include integrating short-term memory to long-term memory, a role that he is dwindling at. His slacking has cost many students peace of mind, giving them sleepless nights as they try dedicating volumes of anatomy notes into long term memory, his role. Have I mentioned that he is also responsible for recent memory? Pardon me your majesty. The pain caused by his laziness is messing with my brain, forgive me.

To the right of Mr. Hippocampus is the second accused. Her name is Miss Amygdala. She is one of the senior citizens still willing to render their services to the nation. She has been loyal in her doings till recently when she forgot one rule. And that is unforgivable according to the rules of this land. She forgot that detailed details are paramount. Your majesty, she is responsible for the tears shed as you go through you old family album. The emotion as you read through your chats with your Ex.  This I can assure she is doing perfectly. Though not guilty she is guilty for missing out on specific details for example; who was responsible for that scream when I was an infant? In this republic, my ladies, missing out on details is as forbidden as a nun is to a club.

My ladies and lords, if you will allow me, I wish to present to you the third defendant, PFC. Before you Google, my learned friends, PFC is the prefrontal cortex. This is a division in the largest region of the brain republic. This specific part has hardworking citizens who process short-term memory and pack it into files as long-term memory for easier retrieval. In short, they keep things in order. It is with great satisfaction that I report to this court that these citizens are as patriotic as anyone can ever be. However, my lords, in every market there is always a mad man or men in this instance. In this case some of the workers in the region are not working up to the expectations, boycotting duty. Right in front of Mr. Hippocampus and Miss. Amygdala is the group of workers, the Neurons Association of the Cortex (NAC) who have decided to watch as the rest dig the bore hole but expect to drink from it. That my Lords can not be tolerated. The spirit of Harambee stands.

Water tight evidence has been collected proving beyond any doubt that the above accused, are guilty as charged.Your highness it is quite obvious that something has to be done to salvage the human memory. May be a few hits to the head would work the magic. May be the above accused need a symphony because in there it must be really quiet and lonely. I mean who can resist music. No even the Dukes and Duchesses, leave alone the Marques and marchioness. According to Evolutionary Behavior Act of Human Anthology of Time Immemorial, any slacking citizen of the brain republic should be dealt with accordingly and as per the rules of the land. It is the sole mandate of this honorable jury to come up with a verdict and spare the existence of the human race. May justice be our shield and defender.

My Lords, Ladies, learned friends, I rest my case.